It's Really Happening

Hello Friends!

I first set foot on the Africa Mercy in 2011 in Sierra Leone, West Africa. I was 19 years old and trying to figure out what to do with my life. I committed 4 1/2 months to volunteer with Mercy Ships and I thought that I would be the one doing the giving. Little did I know that I would receive far more than I would give during my time with Mercy Ships. During my time there, God wrecked my heart and turned my expectations upside down. I saw many lives transformed, including my own. In some ways I am still processing what Africa taught me about God, the world, and myself.

I decided to become a Registered Nurse after my time with Mercy Ships. I returned home to the US and began taking classes toward my degree. Now, I have worked for 3 years as an RN in Medical-Surgical nursing and Women's Health/Newborn Nursery. I have enjoyed gaining experience as an RN, yet a still small voice continues to beckon me back to Africa, to the people and places I came to love years ago. 

I am returning to Mercy Ships in August 2017 to serve the people of Cameroon, West Africa. I am excited to be able to use my nursing skills and experience to show God's love to the people of Cameroon. It honestly feels surreal...I have been looking forward to this since I left the ship and won't believe it until I get there! :) 

I will be specializing in working with women who have had a childbirth injury called a vesico-vaginal fistula (VVF). Many of these women have not only suffered the death of a child after prolonged labor, but also the rejection of their family and community because of constantly leaking urine. I will be providing care for these women following surgery and during the rehabilitation process. I can't wait to see the transformation that will take place in their lives!

I ask that you will support me with your prayers in these areas:
   -Trip preparation
   -Transition in both my work and personal life
   -Preparing to care for and love on my patients
   -Healthy relationships
   -Spiritual growth

In planning to serve with Mercy Ships for 9 months, I need to raise funds to make this possible. All who volunteer with Mercy Ships pay monthly crew fees to keep the ship operating (literally). My goal is to raise $8,000 to cover my crew fees, flights, and personal expenses. I am looking for people to partner with me in the amazing work that Mercy Ships is doing. If you’re in a position to support me financially, please take time to pray and consider doing so.

One of the easiest ways to give is online through CrewMates. My page is HERE

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me!
Email: blue.fire.108@hotmail.com

What I Think About

I think about Africa every single day.

Sometimes I welcome the memories, but other times, I would prefer not to think about them.

When I visit my grandmother in the nursing home where she is so well cared for

         I think about the woman on the street with no place to live,
her back hunched with age. She begs for money, 
but I have none to give. 
All I can do is hold her hand and pray for her. 

She is thankful for that small gesture.

When I see a fat, healthy, newborn baby

     All I can think about is the baby girl I hold in my arms, 
her body so sick and malnourished that she can barely move. 
Her mother smiles up at me, proud that her daughter has made it this far. 

I try to smile back, but it is fake. 
What are her chances of making it to the age of 5, 

much less adulthood? 
I feel overwhelmed by the unfairness of this world.

When I hear a child laugh

I can only think of Isatu, her body riddled with AIDS 
and grotesquely emaciated. 

The sores from living in a wheelchair pain her. 
I blow bubbles for her 

because it's all that I can do. 

It seems so out of place. But it's enough. 

Her face lights up and she lets out a breathy, 
almost inaudible laugh. 

In that one moment, the pain is forgotten, 
and she is a child again. 

When someone says, "Praise the Lord!"

I hear my friend Kadie say "Tell Papa God plenti tenki!" 
Her hands raised to heaven in praise.

Although her life is more difficult than I can fathom, 

she still thanks God for bringing Mercy Ships 

to remove the large tumor on her jaw. 

Too often, the sweet memories are overshadowed by the pain

the injustice

the sorrow.

But I am finding that as time goes on, I can recall the moments of life

of celebration

of healing

more vividly than those of pain.

And I think that's what is important. Not to forget the sorrow.

But to be like my African friends in this way-

To remember the sorrow 

Thank God for the healing

And embrace every day as an unexpected gift from God.

Back to the Africa Mercy...

It's Easter! I hope that everyone has been encouraged today by remembering the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ! I love a statement that my pastor made today. He said "God took on weakness so He could draw near to us (through Jesus his Son)...He allows us to be weak so that we must rely on Him." This was a much needed reminder to me that my own weaknesses which I despise may be the very things that remind me of my need for Jesus.

Well, I've been back in the US for nearly 4 months now. It feels weird that so much time has gone by because it seems that very little has happened in that time! I've resumed college classes so I can start a Nursing Program this fall, and they have kept me VERY busy. However, in comparison to how much happened in my 41/2 months on the ship, my life is unexciting now. I have had the opportunity to speak at several local churches about the work of Mercy Ships, and I have a few more lined up. I really enjoy telling about my experience with Mercy Ships in Sierra Leone and raising support for their work.

The past few months have been very difficult. In some ways the adjustment to living back in the US has been more difficult than the culture shock I experienced in Sierra Leone. While in Africa I was overwhelmed by the poverty that was simply a way of life. Now living back in the States, I have to come to terms with the fact that we truly are RICH. Before my trip I would have said that I was rich, but I had no real understanding of that fact. It is frustrating to be surrounded by people who have no idea how richly they are blessed.

It was very difficult to transition from living with 400+ people who mostly love God and have a heart for the people of Africa to re-entering the culture of the United States where both of those qualities are often absent. I miss that environment where everyone so eagerly put their faith into actions. And not only that, but the transformations I witnessed in patients were both physical and spiritual at the same time. That is why my 4 1/2 months with Mercy Ships was the most rewarding time of my life! I continue to marvel at how God graciously allowed me to join in the work of Mercy Ships. I feel so unworthy, yet grateful.

My exciting news is that I will be re-joining the Africa Mercy this summer for 5 weeks! I am SO excited! I wish it could be longer, but my oldest brother is getting married, so I must work around that date. I will join the ship in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, which is a small Spanish island. The ship goes here every summer to have routine maintenance done. I believe that it is maritime law to have this done. I would much rather be going to Africa, but this is where the ship will be for the summer. I will either be working in the Dining Room or with the Hospitality Dept. where I worked last time! It will be wonderful to see several friends who are still onboard the ship and hear about the outreach in Togo.

The other exciting news is that my brother, Ben, is planning to serve with Mercy Ships for 7 months this year! He jokes that he is following in my footsteps, even though he is older! :) He plans to do Gateway training in Garden Valley, Texas, then fly with his group to Benin, West Africa where they do an outreach. This is where they apply what they have learned, and build a school or church building for a local village. Then he will join the ship in Guinea, where they will be doing a long outreach into 2013. Please be praying for Ben and his preparation. Also pray that he will receive the necessary financial support. We are both about halfway to the amount of money that we need to raise. If you would like to donate to Ben, click HERE.

Hope you have a blessed Easter, and remember that HE is what it's all about.

On Leaving Africa

I have been home for 22 days. Well, that depends on how you define home. If home is "where the heart is" then my home is in several places right now. A part is here in Virginia, US with my family. However, I am starting to realize that a piece of me will always be in West Africa and with Mercy Ships. Let me explain a few things that caused this to happen. 

Ship Relationships. Living on a ship for 5 months with about 400 people was challenging at times. You literally eat, sleep, and work with the same people day in and day out. Sometimes we got on each others nerves. There were days when I simply wanted to have space to be alone and process what I was experiencing. However, instead of being alone with my thoughts, God often sent just the right person (usually one of my fabulous roommates) to share my thoughts and worries with. He has a funny way of turning our trials and difficulties into blessings, and I saw that in SO many ways.

Hope Center. If the only thing that I was able to do on this trip was play with children and talk with the adults at the Hope Center, it would have been more than enough. I can't explain how God used that place to expand my heart and increase my love for the people of Africa. Until I began visiting the Hope Center, I was honestly afraid of the local people. They seemed so different from me, and I didn't know how to interact with them. At the Hope Center, I was immediately accepted - before I could even greet all of the adults sitting around, children would be clambering for attention and wanting me to hold them. The children are not used to receiving attention, so they literally took any from us that we would give them. I miss their big smiles and joyful attitudes. I miss singing "Tell Papa God Tenki" and "Waka Waka" (Shakira) with them. 

Poverty has now become personal to me. The faces of children that you see on those TV commercials now means something to me. I realize looking back that before I went to West Africa, those faces didn't really seem like humans to me. It seemed like their lives and families and problems were worlds away and unreal. I wasn't affected by it. However, now that I have met those children and men and women that are dealing with AIDS and malaria and recovering from a civil war, I ache for them. My own struggles in life are laughable in comparison to theirs. Before I went to Africa, this verse described me and still describes most of America. Ezekiel 16:49 says that the people were "arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." I hope that God can use my life to bring hope to the poor and needy, both in the physical and eternal sense. 

I feel a burden for the people of Africa. I cannot forget them. Shauna Niequist, one of my favorite writers, echoes my thoughts: "I had to clear away space in my mind and my heart, spaces previously occupied by easy things - groceries to buy, albums to download, people to call- and replace them with the weight of Africa, a heavy, dark thing to carry with me, something under which to labor, something under which to tremble. Because once you see it, you will never be able to un-see it, and once you see it, you will be responsible for it, and for the self it reveals back to you." 

Leaving the ship was, to be honest, one of the hardest things I have ever done. There are several reasons.  First, most of the people that I said goodbye to will not be there if and when I return. When I left home to join Mercy Ships, I knew that God willing, I would see my family again. But when I left the ship to return home, the farewells were different. I knew that I wouldn't see many of those friends again. Second, I have so many memories from the ship and Sierra Leone that I will cherish for my whole life. God taught me  many hard lessons in the time that I was on the ship. I learned so much about the world and other cultures that I couldn't have learned anywhere else.

These are the lovely hospitality ladies that I worked with. During my time there, they became more like sisters and mothers than coworkers. (L to R) Marilyn, Susan, Savanna, Pat, Jenny aka"Ginger" and I.

The morning that I left the ship, about 15 of my closest friends gathered in reception and formed a big circle around me. One by one I hugged all of them, and the tears wouldn't stop flowing. We all led a procession down the gangway. I remembered the hundreds of times I had walked (or ran) up and down those stairs to go visit the Hope Center or other places, and to return to the ship. Then on the dock, I hugged everyone another time before my bag was loaded into the land rover, and it was time to go. As we drove away to the airport and I caught my last glimpse of the Africa Mercy, I felt like my heart was breaking. Forming deep relationships and then having to say goodbye has never happened this quickly for me, but I would never take it back to spare the pain. I still thank God for allowing me to know those people, for however short a time.

I miss it so much. A few things keep reminding me that the past 5 months were NOT a dream - my computer clock that is still set on West African time, the tan lines on my feet from wearing sandals in the hot sun haven't faded, and I still wear my Sierra Leone jersey proudly. Now, the reality of living at home is setting in. When I go for walks, I actually miss dodging potholes and poda podas, and the children running up to grab your hand saying "opatu!" I miss the chaos of everyday life in Africa. However, I am adjusting somewhat to life in the US. I'm taking classes at a local college, and preparing to start a nursing program in the fall. I'm very optimistic for what the future holds. And I have a feeling that the future might involve Africa...

Last Days in Ghana

The past week has been a blur. Time is going so fast and I can't seem to do anything about it. At the beginning of this week, we were sailing on the open seas from Sierra Leone to Ghana. This was quite an adventure because I have never sailed before. Walking down the hallway in a straight line was nearly impossible. There were a few meals where we had to hold onto our plates because they would slide off the table if we didn't! And at night you would hear odd sounds from things in the cabin that were rolling around. Someone described sailing as "being on a roller coaster you can't get off of" and I agree! Thankfully it only lasted for 5 days. In the middle of the sail, we spent almost a whole day stopped because we received fuel from an oil tanker. This was the first time this method has been used for the Africa Mercy, so our captain was quite nervous.  However, the fueling went well, even though it lasted 15 hours. The sea life was spectacular - we saw many flying fish, whales, hundreds of dolphins, and jellyfish. I did not sea a shark, and that was fine with me. :)

Whale sighting!!! haha...that's me near the middle in a lime green shirt. We spent hours every day hanging out on the bow of the ship. 

We arrived in Tema, Ghana, which is beside the capital, Accra, on Thursday around noon. The captain notified us via the intercom that we were getting close to the "pilot station" where we would pick up the pilot to bring us safely into port. We quickly went out to top deck where we had a good view. After a few minutes, the Tema coastline appeared out of the morning haze. Even from a distance, I could see that this port was MUCH larger and developed than the one in Freetown. I was expecting to see beautiful rolling mountains like the ones in Freetown, but instead saw only flat land. We slowly drifted into the port, and saw a small group that was waiting to welcome us!

The sign said "Akwaaba" which means welcome!

It was so cool to arrive in the port and be welcomed by locals and the Advance Team that went before the ship. As we waved from the deck, I recognized Erica, a previous roommate of mine, and several other friends. The group began to sing praise songs and dance. It was a wonderful day! As normal activity resumed on the ship, it was amazing to feel the morale boost from arriving in a more developed port.
On Saturday, I ventured into Accra with Maree and Dorike. We took a tro-tro (they were called poda-podas in Freetown) into the city. This was our first time seeing Accra, so we had no idea what to expect. I had heard that Ghana is one of the most developed countries in Africa, so coming to Freetown here was a bit of a shock. I am so thankful that I was able to be here for a week before going home. Maree and I felt so ridiculous in the tro-tro because we were constantly pointing at things like traffic lights, hotels, and luxurious homes in amazement, which was the opposite of what usually happens when foreigners come to Africa. If I had come to Ghana before Freetown, I would've been shocked by the poverty that is here, but instead I am so amazed by the wealth. In Freetown, there were VERY few displays of wealth (such as homes or cars). Here I've seen brand new cars (BMW's and Mercedes) and huge, sprawling subdivisions of homes. There is still poverty here, but it isn't as obvious as in Freetown. I'm so glad I was able to visit Ghana for a short time. I realize that if I had gone directly home from Freetown, that would be my only experience and view of Africa. While I loved Freetown in many ways, at times I felt hopeless because there is SO much work to be done there. So it was nice to come to Accra and see that not all of Africa is like Sierra Leone.

Independance Arch in downtown Accra.

There is nothing as refreshing as coconut water on a hot day. It is so amazing to watch how quickly he cuts the top off with his machete. Then after you have drunk it all, you hand it back to him to chop open and scoop out the meat.

First coconuts.

 A few hours later...second coconuts!

 A vendor selling street meat. Yum!

We bought a mango from this woman, who cut it up and bagged it for us. It was so juicy and delicious.

As you can tell, instead of eating a proper meal at a restaurant, we chose to eat random items from the market. I am so glad we did - the experience was more fun, and I learned much about the local culture. It was interesting to note the similarities and differences between here and Sierra Leone. Although there's  a lot of poverty here, it doesn't come close to Freetown. Also, Ghana has never had a civil war, while Sierra Leone has. I have even noticed a difference in the people's attitudes. While walking through the market here, people didn't yell at us to come buy from them, and I nobody asked for money. Also, since Accra is a slightly touristy place, the locals are used to seeing foreigners. It was nice to not be the center of attention while walking down the road, and not have people yelling "opatu!" at you. Well, in Ghana they say "obruni" but they would just say it to us, not yell it.

On Sunday, one hundred crew members were invited to visit a church in Accra. As we pulled up to it, I couldn't believe my eyes. After going to many churches in Sierra Leone that had dirt floors, wooden benches, and no AC, this was a shock. Having a building that is so expensive just strikes me as entirely unnecessary now. The best worship services I attended were at churches that had nothing, yet they chose to praise God anyway.

Joyce and Comfort on the left are good friends of mine, then us five on the right are roomies! Love these ladies.

 
After church we were invited to the home of a woman from the church. Lunch was catered and she told us to relax and enjoy our time off the ship. We really appreciated her hospitality.

Well, flight for tonight was postponed until tomorrow morning. I will be flying directly to DC, then going home by train the next day. I will write again soon about leaving the ship.
God bless!

So Long Sierra Leone

We are finally sailing! Yesterday we left the port in Freetown around noon. Leaving Sierra Leone was hard. It caught me by surprise actually. After we mustered one last time to make sure that everyone was onboard, we prepared to leave. All of the crew members stood on decks 7 and 8 facing the dock to wave farewell to those standing on the dock. We hadn't publicized the date we were leaving for security reasons, so there was no large crowd to see us off. I think it was easier that way. The ship's engines became louder and louder as we prepared to leave. Our captain, Tim, came over the intercom, which could be heard by us and all those gathered on the dock. He prayed for Sierra Leone, and for continued peace and reconciliation there. That was when I lost control. I cried because of the wonderful people I have met that I may never see again. Children like Osman made such an impression on me that I will never forget. I cried because there were so many people we were not able to help due to to time, ability, or resources. And Sierra Leone has been home for 4 1/2 months. I have so many fond memories of Salone that I will never forget. 

As we pulled away from the dock, the Africa Mercy blew her horn (a tradition) and everyone clapped. Then to our surprise, a ship that was docked in front of us blew her horn, and many of the crew members waved to us. Pulling away from the dock felt so surreal. It was like your house suddenly moving away from where it's always been. There's just something special about that dirty, dusty dock where I've seen hundreds of new patients come onto the ship, and hundreds leave the ship in a much better condition. It's really an experience that's hard to put into words.

Now we're out on the open ocean, and all I can say is wow!!! All of the verses in the Bible that speak about God having control over the ocean make sense now. It's just so big and never ending. That sounds like common sense, but I could never grasp it before. I love being able to look for miles in every direction and see nothing but water. The sailing is pretty smooth so far. Sometimes walking a straight line is difficult, but all you can do is laugh at yourself! At night I feel like a baby being rocked to sleep. Many crew members are suffering from seasickness, but thankfully I am not. Today after dinner, our security officer came over the intercom and announced that whales had been spotted from the bow of the ship. So several friends and I literally ran to the bow and made it in time! They weren't very close, but we could see them spewing water over and over, and I saw the huge, smooth back of one. Besides that, we've seen plenty of flying fish...they're so cool! Next I really want to see dolphins. :)

I believe we're off the coast of Liberia at the moment, and we plan to arrive in Tema, Ghana by Thursday. Arriving in Ghana will be an adjustment, because Ghana is much wealthier than Sierra Leone. There is a shopping mall, a movie theatre, nice markets and restaurants...the list goes on. It will be nice to have several days there before I fly home. I WILL be home for Christmas! :D

Preparing to Sail!

This week we will sail to Ghana. We don't know which day for sure...but very soon. This is creating a flurry of activity onboard the ship, because EVERYTHING has to be secured for sailing. On previous voyages, this ship has been know to tilt at a 45 degree angle, causing lots of damage to items that weren't properly fastened down. So part of our job in hospitality is to go around to empty cabins and secure everything using zip-ties, pillows, sheets, towels, and whatever else is necessary. In preparation for sailing, we have also had multiple "at sea" fire drills. This is quite fun because it's a break from the normal routine of "in port" fire drills. We get to go up to deck 7, put on our life jackets, and prepare to get in the lifeboats in the case of a real emergency. We have already had two of these, and I've heard we'll have one more on the morning that we set sail!

This week is a bit sad for me because I'm not ready to leave Sierra Leone. This country and especially it's people have found their way into my heart. I have to admit that my first month or so here was hard because of the culture shock. I am SO glad that I came for a longer stay, because this has given me such a different perspective. If I had left after the first month, I would have said this was a good experience, but wouldn't have wanted to come back to Africa. It seemed too scary, smelly, hot and humid. I had no idea of how to interact with the local people. I didn't know how to react to the intense poverty that is everywhere. However, the more that I made an effort to get to know locals, visit the Hope Center, and see more of the country, my perspective began to change. I have gotten used to the heat, and the gross amount of sweat that it produces. ;) I love the way that the people here are so friendly, and time never seems to be an issue. After being in Sierra Leone for over 4 months, I can say that I have only scratched the surface of understanding the culture here. It is so complex, and many things just seem bizarre to me and my Western worldview. I think it would take actually living in the country for a while to have a better grasp of its culture. A woman on the ship said to me "Don't set your heart on one country until you've seen more of Africa." I definitely want to see more, but I know this place will always be special to me.

I was able to give blood this week! On Monday, a team came to the ship from the Aberdeen Women's Center to take as many pints of blood as we could give them. This center performs many free surgeries for women who have fistulas as a result of a prolonged birth. This blood will be used to save many lives. I heard around 65 people signed up to donate. I was really nervous, because the only time I had donated blood was several years ago, and I nearly passed out twice from it. I went in the afternoon instead of the morning this time, which I think made a big difference. It went very quickly and painlessly, and I left without feeling lightheaded at all! I was so happy I could've danced...well I ended up doing aerobics class that night because I felt so good! :)

This is the Ola During Children's Hospital.

Today was bittersweet because it might have been my last time off the ship in Sierra Leone. We won't find out until tomorrow if we are allowed to leave the ship. Yesterday and today I visited the Ola During Children's Hospital with two friends, and it was such an eye-opening experience. I was not prepared for what I saw. When I have visited the Hope Center or the wards on the ship, it was always a very positive experience because you know that all of the patients are doing well, and you can literally watch their conditions improve. This was not the case at the local hospital. Sierra Leone has one of the highest infant and maternal mortality rates in the world. This became so obvious when I visited the hospital. Many of the children seem to be thriving, but there were several who barely seemed to be alive. I've never seen children that are so skinny, yet have such bloated tummies from malnutrition. The children that I have seen out in villages don't compare to many of these in the hospital. Still, the attitudes of the mothers is astonishing. Most of them seem at-peace with what is happening. Tonight we sat with several mothers, and pretty soon we were all singing praise songs and dancing! I am amazed by these women. Despite all they have been through, they do not seem bitter or angry.

 Yesterday we took nail polish so we could pamper the mothers there. And they loved it! None of these women had any signs of polish on their nails. For some I know it was their first time because they only wanted me to paint one hand. They told me that they didn't want it on the other hand, because they had to eat with that hand! I explained that the polish dries and becomes hard, so they can still eat. Pretty soon I was painting lots of toenails also. Today we took a sack of clothes to hand out because several women yesterday asked if we could bring anything. They were very grateful for whatever we chose to give them.

 "Pikin" is Krio for child. :)

There is a 10 year old girl named Isata who was the first child I met. She is in a wheel chair, and it is obvious that her condition is chronic. My guess is that she has AIDS. She is all skin and bones, her face is sunken in, and you can hardly tell that she has legs underneath the blanket draped over her. I talked to her mother, who explained that they are from a village in Kono, and had never been to Freetown before now. They have been at the hospital for several months, and Isata's condition is only becoming worse. Her and Isata's grandmother have been staying there because they have nowhere else to go, so they usually sleep one on the bed and one on the floor. That is what most of the mothers do.

It is so hot and humid on the ward, and I saw a few cockroaches and even a rat scurrying around. Isata's mother read to me from a bible story book and said she is teaching it to her daughter. She read the story of the angel appearing to Mary to say that Jesus was coming. She ended with the scripture that says "All things are possible with God." It was amazing to hear this from a woman who may soon lose her only daughter. She told me that she trusts in Jesus, and that she is teaching Isata all that she can. As we handed out various things, Isata's grandmother came over to me and proudly showed off a brown towel that she was given - my old towel! She had it wrapped around her waist like a skirt, and told me how happy she was to have it. "Tenki Tenki!" Seeing my old things being put to use by these women was such a blessing. We blew bubbles for some of the kids, and Isata loved it. Anytime the bubbles headed her way, she would let out a frail giggle. Seeing her smile for the first time was priceless.

After we left the hospital, we went for one last (crazy) motorcycle ride thru town to the market to buy a few things. Then we hailed a taxi back to the ship since it was dark. Today has been so memorable, and a great way to end my time in Sierra Leone.